The Curriculum of Commitment: Learning Before and Within Marriage

I swear my college years of thick textbooks, hours of lectures, and long study halls once had me believing that learning was boring—more of a burden than a benefit. It wasn’t until after graduating that true education began, and my love of learning returned. Even more so as I developed a relationship with my now husband.

I had a revelation years ago: what if we prepared for the roles we play in life the same way we prepare for our careers?

Years of schooling. Internships. On-the-job training. Annual certifications and assessments to ensure credibility and comprehension.

How much could our marriages benefit if we became marriage literate before saying “I do”—and committed to continuing education throughout our journey together?

Many of us have heard premarital counseling referenced as a prerequisite to marriage, and some of us haven’t. I am a huge advocate for it and honestly believe it should extend far beyond a few weeks before the ceremony. In fact, postmarital counseling could be just as essential. Growth doesn’t stop after the wedding—it begins.

We often hear that “marriage takes work,” but rarely are we told what that work actually entails. It wasn’t until the age of social media that more couples began openly sharing what

they’re learning along the way—naming challenges, unlearning patterns, and redefining partnership in real time.

When asked, “What’s one piece of advice you’d give a newly engaged or married couple?” My answer has recently been this: create a marriage toolbox.

Fill it with resources—books, games, conversations, and experiences—that help you learn individually and as a union. Topics like love languages, pillars of intimacy, emotional regulation, and conflict resolution matter. Even books that explore how men and women may process differently, such as For Couples Only, where each partner reads their respective edition and highlights what resonates. Those insights can become a blueprint for understanding one another more deeply.

This is how we create a curriculum for longevity. A commitment to learning, unlearning, and growing—understanding that as we evolve, we become new versions of ourselves to get to know all over again.

As I continue learning within my own marriage, I'm reminded that education isn't something we return to.

I created The Marriage Curriculum lm Starter, a one page printable for couples who want to reflect, learn and grow with intention. It's a starting point, an invitation to approach partnership with the same care we give other meaningful roles in our lives.

You can download it below.

Marriage Curriculum Starter .pdf

Download PDF • 922KB